i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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