party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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