im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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