Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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