im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
