I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize