I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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