I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
