I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
