I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
