Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
