it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
