his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
