I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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