would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
