do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
