Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
