he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
