your thong is hanging out like whoa
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
3pm strippers are depressing
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Randomize
