fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
