i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize