...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
