i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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