3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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