i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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