Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
