I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
