He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
