I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
