I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You are a genius and a whore.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
