I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
