if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Who died my cat blue again?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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