She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
