There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize