If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
