dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
