can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
