You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
