My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
