I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you had me at cake vodka
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Help. Why am I so naked?
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