she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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