He asked to "fluff my boner.."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
