Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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