He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
