why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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