i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
