I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize