So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
