So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
