her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
