Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
