You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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