I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
