Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
