we're blogging at a bar
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize