When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
