She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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