Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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