Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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