Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
