My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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