I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We just shotgunned beers for America
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
