A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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