he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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