I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize