Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
