are you still at the devil's house?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
