What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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