Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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