I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
