the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
