I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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